There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
