She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
