I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
