The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
