oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
