Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
