btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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