Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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