So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
