We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
