i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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