I'm jealous of your bromance
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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