Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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