She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
