Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
