Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
