Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
