how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
