It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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