Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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