dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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