bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
