I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
