Your tits are I can't wait for
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
