Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
