I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
