she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
