You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
