The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
