I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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