on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
