my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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