What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
