After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
