Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry 1-990 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.

Fav 3 1564 807
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

what?

(479): View more from Arkansas

your penis

Fav 11 1825 4192
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.

(214): View more from Texas

round 2?

(972): View more from Texas

EVER.

Fav 10 1424 3919
share tweet
(856): View more from New Jersey

They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

(646): View more from New York

Tell them they are ugly.

Fav 8 4223 1444
share tweet
(573): View more from Missouri

There's always time for handjobs

Fav 13 2928 979
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table

Fav 5 2728 1408
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure

Fav 4 1658 774
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.

Fav 4 841 512
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.

Fav 1 49 39
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT