I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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