guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize