i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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