I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize