i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize