I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
