I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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