From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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