he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
