You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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