I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
