i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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