dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
