I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
