Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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