I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
