Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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