Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
