I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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