My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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