Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
