she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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