yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
