We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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