I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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